Stopping the craziness...for now anyway!!

I have felt like a crazy yo-yo person the last couple of weeks and have finally decided to put a stop to it...for the moment anyway! :) I have been all over the place when thinking about entering into the maintenance phase of this protocol as well as my weight! My ultimate goal for the last 3 or 4 years has been 154 lbs and a size 12 would be just fine. Well, in my 2nd round, I got within 1 lb of my goal. My actual ldw (before deciding to cycle...dumb!) was 5 lbs over my goal weight, but I do fit into a size 12 pant...most of them are even baggy. The problem is they fit in my legs but are loose in my waist, to the point where I don't even have to unbutton them to pull them off, but yet all of the 10's I have tried on are too tight in my legs... Anyway, I fell really good, but am still attached to the number on the scale, and even got greedy, I now really want to get into the 140's, I would really like to lose 10 more pounds. I have read a lot of good things about the Primal Blueprint and decided to buy it. I started reading it and decided that I would follow the Blueprint laws during my phase 4 and try that way to lose 10 lbs, along with some light exercise. So I have been tracking all of my food online, trying to follow the guidelines and stay within the recommendations. I have been reading like crazy, soaking everything in, but in my mind I am so back and forth...I really don't enjoy tracking all of my food and definitely don't want to do it for the rest of my life. It is very hard for me and takes a lot of effort to think of and then actually eat foods high in fat and protein...this % of this and this % of that...blah, blah, blah...it's making me CRAZY!!!! I do not eat a lot of carbs, but do like my fruit. I am learning to eat more meat, but am not a huge egg fan. I do not miss any sugars, I am perfectly satisfied with my sf candies and treats. There are really no starches I miss, mainly just the Ezekiel bread and muffins. Anyway...I made a decision today to just quit with all this craziness!!! I am going to try and forget about losing weight right now, just concentrate on maintenance...I feel after phase 2 and 3, my weight is going to stay where it's at, where it has stabilized. I am going to eat the way I want, much like I did on my first round of phase 4, and do correction days as needed. I am sick of the constant thought in my head of "I wonder if this fruit has too many carbs", "I wonder if this meat has enough fat and protein in it"...like I have said many times in this post...IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY!!!! lol After I finish out this phase 4, I will then make the decision about the 10 lbs and doing a 3rd round! Hopefully this will make the rest of this phase less stressful, and more enjoyable.

I know others have had this fight with themselves about scale reading vs. body composition and overall feeling of how your body looks and clothes fit, but geesh...why are we so hard on ourselves???